When Death Comes too Soon

The other day I heard someone comment on the untimely death of 27 year old woman.  I don't know how she died or what she may have died from.  She was, in the words of this person:  "a beautiful young girl who died too young."

Many of us have experienced when death comes far too soon.  I remember being a sophomore in high school when my classmate and friend Scott was killed in a car accident.  I didn't understand why he died.  I didn't (and still don't) know what caused the accident. His death made no sense to me.

Anytime someone dies well before they have lived a long and full life, we want to make sense of the death.  We want to understand why that person died.  So when a young person dies, many of us - having good intentions - say something like: "It must have been his time."  "God must have needed her."  "Now we have another angel to watch over us."  When this 27 year old died, the comment I heard was:  "She died to help others change for the better...making this world a little more kinder and stronger."

Every time I hear someone explain the reason why an individual died too soon, I am troubled.  The fact is that none of us can explain anyone's death.  We might be able to point to a car accident or cancer that caused the death, but any time we have a reason for that death we are playing God, thinking that we know why.  We don't know why one person dies tragically at a young age, and another lives a long and full life.  Every death - no matter the age or the circumstances surrounding that death - means a loss to at least one person who loves that individual and are saddened that he/she is no longer walking this earth.  God can take these untimely deaths and work to bring about good in other ways (even inspiring others to change how they live, making this world that God loves a little better).

When my friend Scott died, I didn't understand why.  I became profoundly aware, however, that death can happen at any time to any one, and, as a 15 year old, decided that I would seek to live my life to the fullest.

When death comes too soon, please, don't try to explain the death.  Be with the family.  Say, "I'm sorry." Grieve with them.  Let the death of a young person (or an older person) inspire you to change how you live.   Take actions in their memory.  Live the life they can no longer live.  But please, don't play God and explain their death away.