Do Not Feed the Monster

Yesterday I headed out for what was to be a tempo run.  Your first mile will generally be slower than your overall average pace but your last miles are faster than your overall average pace.

There are days though, when I just do not have it.  After I had run one mile, I knew this was not going to be a tempo run.  My legs were sluggish.  My focus was not there.  I had trouble maintaining good running form.  No tempo run today.  This was going to be a struggle to simply finish.

On runs like today's I hear a voice in my head: "Give it up!  This run won't do you any good!"  I call that voice Monster McHenry.  Monster McHenry - also known as dementors* - is my negative voice which always tells me to quit.  It doesn't matter if I'm running, working on a sermon, trying to find a new way to teach confirmation, or do work at home.  Monster McHenry seeks to tell me that I am not enough.  I am not good enough or wise enough or smart enough.  Monster McHenry tells me I can't do it anyway so why try.

The good thing about running outside instead of running on a treadmill is that it is much harder for me to quit midway through a run.  After all, I have to get back home again.  And so I ran on.  The miles did not get easier.  But I kept going and I finished a 5.5 mile run.  In spite of the run, I felt a sense of accomplishment.  Monster McHenry did not win today's battle.

Walking the way of Jesus is sometimes like today's run.  You wake up roaring and ready to go.  You get to your place of work and all of sudden you know it's not what you had planned.  The negative voice in your head tells you to give it up.  That voice tells you that you can not do it.

Those days are some of the harder days to run joyfully the life of faith.  When you hear that voice, do not feed the monster.  Be reminded that you belong to God, and that God is working through you to change the world.

*Dementors: Dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth. They infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them... Get too near a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. If it can, the Dementor will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself...soulless and evil. You will be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life."
—Remus Lupin to Harry Potter